Sex Sells...

The following post will in no way be nice, or censored. There probably will be TMI. You've been warned.

I guess I can say I've been really intrigued by sex since I was about 11, though I've known about it since I was much younger and would half-sleep walk to the kitchen with the sounds of porn following me. But year 11/12 was a turning point. I actually sat down and watched porn on my own. Fun stuff that was, especially making sure I didn't get caught by my dad. Porn is the way I learned of masturbation and blow jobs (other than that one scene in Waiting to Exhale) and other than my friends, it was my second biggest source of info. My biggest? Romance novels. They kicked in around age 11 also. I was obsessed with them. By the time I sold the majority of my book collection in 2007, I had probably amassed and/or read over 300 romance novels in 9 or so years. Probably not that staggering of a number if you break it down, but considering it's not the only thing I read, I find that crazy.

But for most of that time, I felt that I was doomed never to have sex. I'm not attractive, and typically fall in the "friend" category with guys, which though it depressed me, I learned to deal with. Then at 19, I lost my virginity. To a one night stand no less. I still don't know why I did that. He was kind of a creepy guy in both looks and attitude. But whatever, I've only spoken to him like once since. Then I met Ryan, and we've been together for the past three years. I've said this before, and I'll say this again, I miss good sex. We used to have fun with it and could enjoy each other for a long time, but now it's hard just getting him to make out with me, let alone have sex. And even when we do, it's usually a 20 min thing and done. 20 mins being at the high side when foreplay is actually involved.

But since the decline in my sex life, I've taken to reading erotica, with my favourite site being Literotica. It is a really cool site that probably has something for everyone. Typically though, the only stores I read on there are black woman/white man, which probably isn't the best obsession considering my boyfriend isn't white. Nonetheless I've always had a thing for white guys, so this is right up my alley. The stores on there just sound like so much fun. Kinky sex in public bathrooms and at clubs and other such escapades. It makes me wish I wasn't in a relationship, so I could go experience it. Not saying I'd be a whore, though if I were a guy, I so would be. A bisexual manwhore.

But this semester has brought up something to me. I'm very intrigued by non-conventional sex. I guess I've kinda always known this, but writing a paper on sadomasochism just pointed it out more. Then I decided for NaNoWriMo next year, I want to write about a romance between a African-American call girl and a white businessman. Yep. That'd probably cause some issues for the people reading it, but that's another post I plan on doing. Over the weekend, I found more sex blogs to read, considering there are a large about of women out there blogging about their sex lives. Today while at the library, I decided to find books on prostitution (GSU has an interesting section on it, right after stuff on BDSM). I'm sure the guy who checked out my books probably thought I was weird, but I am just so fascinated with women who do sex work because they want to. Come to think of it, if I had the body for it, I would probably be a stripper. Maybe a call girl.

I know I'm weird.